Worst. Movie. Ever

When I watch a movie, I usually just want to be entertained. 2 hours of mindless entertainment is all I'm looking for. I don't want to be preached at or made to think. I just want to sit there and not be bored. I usually find that Action/Adventure types and comedies will do the trick. Every once in a while, though, I find myself in a mood for something different. That Usually proves to be a mistake, and Match Point was no exception.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't the WORST movie I have ever seen. I think Naked and Canadian Bacon are probably still my top two, but this one is right up there. It was boring, slow-moving, predictable, and just plain not interesting. One of these days I am going to put out a list of top ten worst movies, and I predict that it will definitely be on it.

Rating: Two D'Ohs

Continued

Energy Hog Update

A while back I posted a concern that we might be using more electricity than the normal family. Based on the responses I got back I realized that something was drastically wrong.

So I launched a project to reduce my Electricity expenses. My average bill before the PSNH rate reduction was about $310/month. My initial goal was to save $100 a month. Thanks to the PSNH rate reduction, My bill for the July was $270 - even though the usage was actually up (thanks to a really hot spell where we had several air-conditioners running practically non-stop). So I was almost halfway there without doing anything - which caused me to re-evaluate my goal. My goal is now to get the Electric Bill under $200 per month.

Step 1: New Washing Machine

Now, if your washing machine is functioning fine, it probably doesn't make sense to replace it just to save electricity, but since ours was on the way out, rather than buy another top-loader, we decided to get a high-efficiency front-loader.

We chose the Kenmore HE3 which was on sale for $999 - which seemed like a really good value. It was probably about $200 more than the equivalent-featured top loader which we would have chosen. Although we also got a $50 Energy Star rebate, so the price difference was really only about $150.

I was surprised to find out just how efficient the new front loaders are. A FULL LOAD of wash uses 17 gallons of water vs. about 45 gallons for my old one. Therefore, including hot water usage, the new one uses about .45 KWH (6 cents) per load compared to about 2.5 KWH (30 cents) for my old one. For a family of 7, that adds up pretty quickly. They will also tell you at the store that front-loaders will also reduce drying times. There's no good way to estimate how much, though.

Results: First of all, we love the washer (well, as much as you CAN love a clothes washer). For one thing, it's much quieter than the old one. Also, the capacity is a bit larger, so we are pretty much down to just one load of laundry per day compared to two a day with the old one. We haven't seen a huge reduction in drying times, but maybe that's because we are ramming a lot more clothes in there now that our washer has a higher capacity.

My latest Electricity bill which includes about 3 weeks with the new washer was $246, MOST of which can be attributed to my hot water usage being only 379 KWH as opposed 600 KWH the month before - and an average of about 560 KWH for the previous year. And this is a month where we had houseguests for a week, so I would have expected hot water usage to be slightly higher. All in all, I would say the Washing Machine was a great purchase, and should pay for itself very quickly.

Step 2: Identify which appliances are may be "Wasting" electricity

My Friend L-Dub recommended that I buy a kill-a-watt electric meter. I found one on ebay for 24.95 with free shipping. Two days later I was ready to go. My first target: The basement refrigerator. It seems like every time I go down there it sounds like it is running. So I plugged it in and waited. After an hour I couldn't wait any longer - it had used about .25 KWH. Then I let it go for 24 hours. At 24 hours, it had used 6.5 KWH. The most disturbing thing is that based on the first hours usage, I was able to predict how much it would use over a 24 hour period. That isn't how refrigerators are supposed to work. They are supposed to run for a little while, and then shut off - but mine was running constantly. To put it in perspective, 6.5 KWH a day turns out to be almost 200 a month - or 1/7 of my non-water-heating electricity consumption. That is TWICE as much as my 400 gallon HOT TUB is supposed to use on a COLD day. It figures out to be about $25 a month with the reduced rates - over $30 a month under the old rates. That is way too much to pay for keeping your extra soda cold, so we unplugged it immediately.

Continued

Butt Rub Update

So we went to the Hot tub store to find out what the free Butt Rub was all about. The flyer had advertised free food, but much to our disappointment it was really just free SAMPLES of meats cooked with Bad Byron's Butt Rub meat seasoning. However, it turned out ok. First of all, the samples were amazing. I bought my own can and I can't wait to get some meat to try it out on. Secondly, for showing up, we won a free Hammock as a door prize.



Even if they had not given away free samples, I may have bought some based strictly on their amusing corporate logo.

Continued

Guilty until proven innocent

*** Updated - scroll down to see the new Update***

Got a slighty-panicked call from my wife yesterday. She had just gotten pulled over for not having an inspection sticker on the car. Now, the fact that there was no sticker is very mysterious. It has been almost a year since our inspection, so you would THINK that if the auto shop had neglected to put one on, we probably would have noticed OR AT THE VERY LEAST, we would have have been pulled over sooner. If I had neglected to get the car inspected at all, it would have had an expired sticker. If the sticker had somehow fallen off, we would have likely found it laying on the dashboard somewhere. So how did it disappear? I have no idea - I have heard of stickers being stolen before, but not in this area. Anyway, I digress - the point of this post is not about the mystery of the missing sticker, but about the behaviour of the state police.



My wife explained that the car was legally inspected and that somehow the sticker must have disappeared. The officer in question basically told her to prove it, and until she COULD prove it, OR get it re-inspected, she would have to park the car. Apparently the officer was extremely rude to her as well, (which brings up a pet peeve of mine - Why is it that people in a position of authority tend to think that their authority gives them the right to be obnoxious? The last time I had a run-in with the state police, the officer came up to my window and just started screaming at me. When my response was not to his personal liking, he started screaming at me some more), but again I digress.....

Now, I am not unreasonable. I understand that the officer has probably heard lots of excuses for various things, and I do NOT expect her to take my wife's story at face value. However, she had ALL OF THE PROOF SHE NEEDED right there in front of her. In the State of New Hampshire, all inspection stickers are numbered. Each unique number is sent in to the state on the "stub" that came with the sticker. The number is also entered into the state computer system with your name and license plate number. The number is also WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF THE REGISTRATION. A simple check by the officer and it would have been easy to verify that the car was legally inspected. Instead, the officer wrote her a summons, and "generously" told my wife that if we could collect the required proof from the garage that did the inspection and submit it to her she would consider retracting the summons.

grrrrrr.........

***Updated at 2:00 p.m.***

Ok, so I called the number that the officer gave my wife as soon as I got home from work last night. (By the way, have you ever tried calling the office of the NH state police? I have never spoken to so many extremely gruff people at one time in my life - maybe they should outsource their call center to India like everyone else has. But once again, I digress.) Of course, because each officer is apparently the king or at least the duke of their own little fiefdom, nobody except the particular officer in question can help me with this, and of course the particular officer in question was not available so I left a message to call my cell phone the next day.

- side note - when referring to a member of the state police, you should refer to them as "trooper so-and-so" not "officer so-and-so". Not sure why this distinction is important - I suppose it prevents people from being confusing them with the lowly regular town and city police officers.

Anyway, the TROOPER called my cell phone at 7:00 A.M. (Poll Question: is 7:00 A.M. a reasonable time to call somebody?). Of course, I was in the shower at the time, and also because my house is in a cellular black hole, I didn't get the message until about 9 A.M. Of course when I called her back she was again unavailable. Finally, around Noon, she calls me back. The following is a transcript of that call:

Oh - in order to understand the call, you need one more piece of information. Our drivers side window has a problem where it does not roll down all the way, It will roll down a few inches which is more than sufficient for handing paperwork out the window and speaking to a police officer. However, my wife apparently opened the door. Apparently my wife has not watched enough episodes of "cops" to know that you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER open the door. It makes cops nervous. You never know when the 30-something white lady in a car with 5 kids, her mother, and her sister is going to try to go for your gun. The other important rule about dealing with cops is the you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER volunteer more information than is absolutely necessary. My wife, foolishly assuming she was dealing with a reasonable person, does not know this rule either, and she informed the officer, er, excuse me, the TROOPER, about this - At which time the trooper immediately started yelling at her, claiming that window was in violation, blah, blah, blah. (Now, I have scoured the NH RSA's concerning vehicle inspections and I cannot find this anywhere. The window is required to be made of safety glass and cannot have any after-market tint, but there is no requirement anywhere listed that it even has to roll down at all. But that is kind of beside the point anyway) Anyway, on to the call:

(jumping ahead of the usual pleasantries)

Her: I pulled your vehicle over yesterday because it did not have an inspection sticker.

Me: (no kidding, otherwise I wouldn't be calling you) I know. I called the garage yesterday and verified that it was inspected last September. I can give you the sticker number right now.

Her: As I told your wife, what I need is something on the garage letterhead stating that it passed inspection and the sticker number.

Me: I have that right here.

Her: It needs to be on garage letterhead.

Me: It is. I have a copy of the reciept right here.

Her: It needs to be on garage letterhead - it can't just be a receipt.

Me: (speaking very slowly) Ok. I have here a COMPUTER INVOICE on GARAGE LETTERHEAD stating that the car passed inspection and the sticker number that was issued. I also verified with the garage that the information has been entered into the state computer. Why don't I just give you the num -

Her: That's not good enough.

Me: What?

Her: Somebody has to take Responsibility!

Me: What?

Her: I'm doing this as a courtesy - I don't have to, you know. I'm trying to help you. That car did not have a sticker.

(side note - She's trying to tell me that she could be hardnosed about this because the sticker was not properly displayed. I'm not sure if this is true. I have scoured the NH RSA about vehicle inspections, and I have yet to find actual law about the sticker display. There are laws about the inspection, and the sticker is the proof of the inspection, but there is no penalty specified for a missing sticker)

Me: Thank You - but I'm having a hard time understanding exactly what I need to do.

Her: I need something on Garage Letterhead that states the vehicle Passed inspection.

Me: I have that.

Her: And it needs to state that the garage admits that they did not put a sticker on. Somebody needs to take responsibility!

(aha! finally some new information at least)

Me: I don't think they will do that. They claim that they put a sticker on there. Isn't it possible that it fell off or something?

Her: Well, then they need to explain what happened. See, when I pull back a ticket, I have to submit the information to the inspection review board. If the mechanic is not following proper procedure he may have to go to a hearing.

Me: What?

Her: (apparently changing subjects) A lot of times cars get inspected, but they don't pass - and people don't know it. That's why they need a sticker.

Me: I understand that. But a sticker WAS ISSUED. I have the number right here. And it is in the state computer. They would not have issued a sticker if the car had not passed.

Her: See, those sticker all have numbers. They come in a little booklet with a stub that has your information on it and it gets sent back to the state.

Me: Right. That's what I'm -

Her: Somebody has to take responsibility!

(by the way, I am totally bewildered by now - deleted some more conversation where she repeated herself a few more times and then insinuated that because my drivers-side window was out of spec, if there was a sticker issued, it had somehow been passed illegally - and the mechanic might get in trouble)

Me: (choosing not to argue whether the window was legal or illegal for the time being) Isn't it possible that since the sticker was issued almost a year ago that the window could have been working fine at that time?

Her: If that's the case, then you should have stopped driving the vehicle immediately.

Me: (incredulous) What?

Her: Anytime that a vehicle is no longer in THE EXACT SAME CONDITION AS IT WAS THE DAY IT ROLLED OFF THE ASSEMBLY LINE - it is not longer legal to drive.

Me: What?

Her: I'm just trying to make sure the vehicles are safe. Just because a vehicle was inspected does not mean it passed.

(totally lost by now, I try to get the conversation back on track)

Me: Ok, so what I need to do is get something with the garage letterhead and the original sticker number (which I already have) and -

Her: I need the mechanic's (license) number too.

Me: Ok - the mechanics number -

Her: Do you have the garage's phone number?

Me: Yes, it is 603-xxx-xxxx. The person I have been talking to is named *****

Her: Ok. Is that the Mechanic?

Me: No. That is his wife. She does the paperwork.

Her: Ok.

(awkward pause where we both apparently wait for the other to give more information)

Me: Um, so does that mean you are going to call the garage?

Her: No. I'm trying to help you get this straightened out.

(*&%^$#@#&????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!))

Me: (desperately wishing I could get the last 10 minutes of my life back) Ok, so just to be clear, I need to get some garage letterhead, with the mechanics number, the sticker number and their explanation of what happened. (trying to find out where to send the required information) And How can I get this -

Her: And you need to get the sticker put on the windshield. You can't drive around without a sticker.

(side note - maybe that's true, but I fail to see how future drivng has any relevance on what happened yesterday - and also - BECAUSE each sticker is numbered, the garage cannot simply give me another sticker. The garage explained this to me yesterday)

Me: (still failing to see the connection, but desperately wanting to get this over with)Well, since it's almost time for a renewal anyway, I'm going to just get a new sticker for the coming year.

Her: When are you going to do this?

Me: (failing to see how this is any of her business) Today.

Her: You are going to have it re-inspected?

Me: (Isn't that what I JUST said?) Yes.

Her: Ok. Here's what you need to do. Call me after you get THAT done, so I can meet you somewhere and inspect it myself.

Me: What?

Her: I need to see that the new sticker is on the windshield. Call me when you get it done. (Hangs up)

--------------------------------------------------------------------
so, now I am totally confused. Why does she have to see the NEW inspection sticker? What relevance does that have on LAST YEAR's inspection sticker? Does that mean I no longer have to do all the other stuff she asked me for? Or do I have to do both?

And by the way, the vehicle passed inspection with flying colors and the mechanic assured me that the window was fine. However, I KNOW that if I go meet her somewhere, she is going to require that I show her that it has been fixed. I know I should get it fixed, and at some point I will, but I find it really annoying that she thinks she has the power to make me.

Continued

Full Service Hot Tub store

Got a postcard from my Hot Tub store inviting me to come down Saturday for a free "Butt Rub"!! Now, they have always provided me with excellent service - but this might just be above and beyond the call of duty.

Continued

Take Me out to the Ball Game

I took my Youngest Daughter to her very first Red Sox game today. Lucky for her it was a coveted game against our most hated rivals the NY Yankees. As we arrived at the ballpark I saw a family where a father had dressed his young children in Yankees gear. I joked to my wife that somebody should call Child Protective Services to report him. As I was leaving the ballpark after another soul-crushing loss, I reflected that perhaps I should be the one who gets reported for child abuse. I mean, what am I doing here? By teaching her to be a Red Sox fan, I am pretty much setting her up for a lifetime of gut-wrenching disappointment. I might as well be punching her in the stomach and telling her how much fun it is. Ugh.

Ah well, a bad day at the ballpark is still a million times better than a good day at the office. Especially when you can drown your sorrows in a heaping plate of Louisian Chicken Pasta at The Cheesecake Factory and chase it down with a slice of Snickers Cheesecake. The only other downside to the day was when the Hostess at the restaurant mistook my 20-year-old sister-in-law for my daughter. "Three Daughters!" she says, "Aren't you Lucky?!" Yes. Yes I am.



Here is a picture of my three "Daughters" at the ballpark.

Continued

Confessions of a Pod Person

Alright, I admit it - I love my I-POD. I used to always say that people with I-POD's annoyed me, but apparently I was just jealous. I bought mine strictly for the purpose of having something to listen to while I worked out. Now I take it everywhere except church - and I don't even work out anymore. (well, that's not 100% true - I'm just taking a break during soccer season - at least that is what I am telling myself). Along with theDVR it may be the greatest entertainment related invention of all time. I love it - it is just so darn convenient. It's like having a 12-disc CD changer in your pocket. The best part is that if you work in a cubicle it is very easy to block out the rest of the world. I think everybody should have one. Never buy another CD player again, just make sure your stereo has an IPOD connection. In fact, never buy CD's again - just buy the music digitally online and you are all set.

Continued

um, thanks for nothing

I bought a new stopwatch yesterday for $9.99 that came with a 4-year warranty. When I opened the package, I got the fine print:

"For Warranty service, please send watch along with a $10 fee to ........"

Continued

Happy Birthday

Today (Aug 13) is my birthday. This is my wife's favorite day of the year, because for three months it means that we are the same age - and I have to officially stop calling her my "old lady". Interesting facts about my Birthday:

- I once dated a girl in High school who had the exact same birthdate as me. Even though I dated her for the better part of 2 years, we were always broken up on our actual birthday, so we never celebrated together.

- At the same time, I also had a boss with the exact same birthday. He was working that day, so he saw no particular reason to give me the day off either.

- It is "International LeftHanders Day". I am not lefthanded.

- Mickey Mantle, the only Yankee player besides Lou Gehrig that I do not hate with a passion died on my birthday in 1995. Rest In peace, Mick.
















- Here are some other interesting people I share a birthday with (in no particular order):




Alfred Hitchcock. A great filmaker. I have never seen one of his movies







Annie Oakley. They say she could split a playing card on edge from 90 feet away, and then put 5 or 6 more bullet holes in it before it hit the ground.










Fidel Castro. Evil Dictator. And probably dead.













Brittany Andrews. Porn Star. I have never seen her anywhere except in this photo courtesy of wikipedia. I think I'm fine with that.

Continued

Energy Hog

Opened my Mail the other day and got the Happy News from PSNH that my Electric Rates are going to go down by 15%. WooHoo! That is welcome news. Then something caught my eye - there was wording that the average residential customer would save $12 by this move. $12???!! By my calculations, I should save close to $50. so I looked at it close, and according to them, the average Residential Customer uses 500KWH per month. When I compared that to MY bill, I realized that I am currently using more than that on the Hot Water heating Alone! My average Hot Water bill is 500-600KWH, with the rest of my house coming in at about 1500 for a total of somewhere around 2000-2100.

So who is off? Am we really using 4x the average household? I guess that would qualify as us Energy Hogs. Or is PSNH just throwing random numbers around?

Continued