Rocket stay home

So, Roger, the Red Sox are trying to get you back . Well, at first glance, this makes sense - you WERE the best pitcher in baseball last year, and as free agent, so the Sox would be foolish to not check into it. Rumor has it, however - espoused by Gerry Callahan on WEEI Tuesday morning - that they are actually making a recruitment video comprised of adoring fans begging you to return. For the life of me, I can't imagine where they are going to find these fans - they must be really young fans, or ones with extremely short attention spans. If you really care what REAL Sox fans think, let me help you - STAY HOME. We don't want you. If you are wondering why, let's review:

From 1986 - 1992, you were the King in this town. You could do no wrong. You captured the hearts of every Red Sox fan (mine included). Then you let it get to your head. For the next 4 years you rested on your laurels. You got fat and lazy, and as a result your career suffered - and with it, our beloved Red Sox. You were 40-39 with an ERA hovering around 4. But we didn't care, we still loved you. We loved you when you got drunk and got in bar fights. We sided with you against Dan Duquette when he said you were in the "twilight of your career" - even though all of the evidence supported him. Then you took all of that goodwill and pissed it away. You said you just wanted to be closer to your family in Texas, so you moved to Toronto.

If that were not bad enough, you moved to New York to play for our mortal Enemies. The last two years, however have really shown your true colors. You went to the Astros who paid you more money for one season than any other pitcher in the history of the game. On top of that, they allow you to come and go as you please. You can skip road trips if you feel like it. You don't have to show up on days when you are not pitching. You are a mercenary. You have no idea what it means to be a part of a team anymore. Its ok for the Astros, though, because you put fans in the seats. It's a good fit, because the fans don't care about the team any more than you do - they just show up on the days when you show up.

It may have taken a football team to show us the way, but we know now that it isn't superstars that matter, it's the team - a bunch of guys that work hard to make each other better - guys that are playing for more than just a paycheck - or an individual stat. Guys whose most important contribution is a single stolen base, a base hit, a bloody sock, a shot of Jack Daniels, or even a smile, a laugh, and a pat on the back in the dugout.

You are one of the greatest pitchers of all time. On the day when finally retire and get elected to the Baseball hall of fame, I will be stand up and applaud - but in 2005 I don't want you on my team. You are a mercenary - you will always do what is best for Roger Clemens and your family, and for that reason, stay away from mine.