Adventures in Fine Dining

I know this admission may come as a shock to many of my readers, but I must confess that I am not as cultured as I pretend to be. This really hit home with my recent excursion to a fancy Boston Restaurant. There are a number of things, I just don't understand.......

1. Who decides which foods are "weird" and which foods are "cultured"? For example, most of us would consider somebody who ate raccoon to be something of a "redneck". But what makes Raccoon so bad? Is it because they are scavengers and eat garbage? Lobsters are scavengers too, and yet they are an extremely expensive food, often found in fine restaurants. In the late 80's, Boston Harbor was reknowned for being filthy. One of the contributers to this problem was a massive waste water sewer pipe that dumped right into the mouth of the harbor. The lobstermen knew that was the best spot to catch them, because they would thrive on the human waste being dumbed into the harbor. When they "cleaned up" the harbor, they built a new pipe that extends 3 miles into the sea and the lobster population was drastically reduced. So tell me, why is lobster better than Racoon? Why is that people who willingly eat goose liver will look down on people who might eat squirrel stew? Or people who spend thousands of dollars for an ounce of fish eggs think themselves better than a guy who drops a couple of bucks on Gator Jerky?

(Sidebar: If you are looking for cheap Caviar, I found a place called National Warehouse Liquidators in Revere, MA that was selling 2 oz. jars for 1.99. I can't tell you what it tastes like, though - because I decided to pass)

2. What is up with the Fake Plates (and sometimes silverware)?
When you sit down at one of these places, you are usually greated with a beautiful place setting - fancy plate, glasses,silverware etc, which is almost immediately whisked away by your server. (sometimes they take it all, sometimes only the plate). What is the point of this? Are they afraid that I will be upset if I am seated at a table with no fake plate in front of me? Maybe they are afraid the table looks empty without it. If so, why whisk it away so quickly? Are they afraid I will break it? And what do they do with it? Do they just put it back in the rack waiting for the next customer? Or do they actually wash it? It's no wonder these places cost so much money. During my recent visit, I "used" 9 different plates, 18 pieces of silverware and 4 glasses (and I didn't even have any wine). A table for two would be an hours worth of dish-washing (if you did it by hand).

3. What is with the accents?
Does anybody Native to the United States work in food service anymore? I mean, I understand that when I go to McDonalds in Massachussetts that nobody speaks english - but this is because there are very few legal American citizens willing to work for what McDonalds pays - we are way too lazy and spoiled. However, I imagine that the staff of a fine dining establishment such as this one, probably do pretty well (especially considering the tip I left). I am beginning to think that these were fake accents. I think that for some reason, well-to-do people like to be served by someone with an accent - therefore the staff of these places accomodates them by faking it.